It seems like some Halloween satire piece, but you read that right: the Pentagon has actually come up with a Zombie Apocalypse contingency plan – and they are taking it very seriously.
“Because zombies pose a threat to all non-zombie human life, [Strategic Command] will be prepared to preserve the sanctity of human life and conduct operations in support of any human population — including traditional adversaries.”
The CONOP 8888 document is dated April 30, 2011, and believe it or not, it is legit. Read the full text below:
The document itself acknowledges that it is somewhat bizarre, but no joke.
“The hyperbole involved in writing a ‘zombie survival plan’ actually provided a very useful and effective training tool.”
It adds that the planners “realized that training examples for plans must accommodate the political fallout that occurs if the general public mistakenly believes that a fictional training scenario is actually a real plan,” the authors wrote, adding: “Rather than risk such an outcome by teaching our augmentees using the fictional ‘Tunisia’ or ‘Nigeria’ scenarios used at [Joint Combined Warfighting School], we elected to use a completely-impossible scenario that could never be mistaken for a real plan.”
IFLScience notes that “the plan involves various levels of threat, including one where zombie-ism turns out to be highly transmissible, with low human immunity.”
The contingency plan includes concepts such as subtypes of zombies, including vegetarians, “zombie life forms originating from any cause but pose no direct threat to humans because they only eat plant life”.
It also – even more bizarrely – makes reference to Symbiant-Induced Zombies and zombies that seem to be described in more “magical” terms, as well as zombification induced by extraterrestrial contact.
But not all government official are pleased with the document. Foreign Policy quoted one defense official as irritatedly joking “I hope we’ve invested a similar level of rigor against dragon egg hatching contingencies.”
What do you think? Is this a good use of tax-payer dollars? Or is the Pentagon just thinking up new ways to waste our money?
(Article by M. David and Jackson Marciana)